A post dedicated to fighting the staggeringly tragic war against pants.

The Disadvantages/Dangers of Wearing Pants

The always-wise Dalai Lama has always advocated strongly against pants
The always-wise Dalai Lama has always advocated strongly against pants
  1. Pants are flammable, and should be considered extremely dangerous
  2. You are much more likely to end up in jail while wearing pants than other items of clothing, such as a loincloth
  3. Without pants, you get faster access to hot tubs (some hot tubs don't allow pants at all)
  4. More and more towns around the world are banning smoking, and studies show that pants are next. Some towns are already onboard.
  5. Burritos are not nearly as enjoyable with pants on
  6. Pants waste a significant amount of water and cleaning detergent every year. Stop killing the environment, pants-lover.
  7. Many dance moves are more difficult in pants - some are impossible (see: The Flying Wheel of Cheese or The Bionic Dolphin)
  8. It's pretty obvious that the Dalai Lama disapproves of pants
  9. Your pants have stains on them
  10. Pants can conduct electricity, making you more vulnerable when your submarine is attacked by a giant, electrical squid
  11. Harrison Q. Pants, the inventor of pants, was a jerkface. He also eluded taxes and didn't hand out candy on Halloween. He was not a team player.
  12. Some pants have been known to detonate (see: exploding pants video)

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This page was last modified 13:15, 9 March 2007.
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