A post dedicated to fighting the staggeringly tragic war against pants.

The Beautiful Legend of How This Site Started

You're in for quite a story. An epic, if you will. This organization is no ordinary organization, and if you don't believe me, it's probably because of your trust issues. Read on, mistrusting reader.

It all began in a small town outside Intercourse, Pennsylvannia in Autumn of '96. Halfway between Leacock and Paradise, a small store named Jeff Gilbreth's Olde Tyme Trinketry sat wedged between an ice cream parlor and an abandoned roller disco. On this particular day, a single customer was inside, perusing the shelves crammed full of odds, ends, curios, doodads, gewgaws, gimcracks, and all kinds of whatnot. Outside, the winds were blowing savagely, and so it was very noticeable when the door swung open and in walked a stranger wearing a black t-shirt with cutoff sleeves.

By now, the shopper had found what he was looking for: a miniature pewter model of a Henson Aerial Steam Carriage. Being an avid collector of flying machines that have failed to achieve mass production, he was in high spirits by the time he reached the register.

The stranger who had just walked in beat him there, and began to ask for directions back to the Old Philadelphia Pike. It was then that the shopper first noticed the tattoo on the arm of the stranger wearing the cutoff t-shirt. In shock and with his gaze fixed on the stranger's upper arm, the shopper slowly asked, "what's the tattoo for?"

"It's a symbol, my man," said the stranger confidently. "It's a badge of honor. I belong to a large group of folks over on the West Coast who are trying to free people that are being held back by their own pants. A legion of freedom-fighters if you will." The stranger seemed disinterested by the question, thinking that the person standing before him just wouldn't understand. But he was extremely wrong.

"I will," replied the shopper, still in amazement, "because I'm part of a small but growing group of people here on the East Coast that are against pants, too."

"We're called the West Coast Anti-Pants People, or WCAPP. Have you heard of us?"

"No - not at all," said the shopper excitedly. "We're called Take Off Your Pants Now, and we're the Eastern Syndicate, or TOYPN-ES. My name is Jim Longwood, and I'm the President," he continued, extending his hand for the very overplayed salutation known as the "handshake".

"Shamus Pumpwell," fired back the stranger, shaking vigorously. "Pleasure to meet you, my man. You hungry? Let's go get a bite to eat and talk about this a little bit. Maybe we can work together somehow."

And with that, Jim paid for his precious artifact and the two headed to the nearest diner for a tall plate of bacon and to discuss their mutual loathing of pants. It was during this healthy mid-afternoon snack that things really started to fall into place.

It was clear from the beginning that their were differences in perspective from the two sides of the table. Shamus and the West Coast group consisted of people who simply didn't like pants and felt that they shouldn't have to wear them if they didn't want to. Why do people continue to insist that pants have to be worn in so many situations? Their tone was slightly more militant, yet full of passion.

As Jim unraveled the story behind the East Coast group, it was obvious that the tone of their cause was a little less aggresive, although possibly just as passionate. Their stance was that people should feel free to take off their pants wherever and whenever they wanted to, as long as they weren't breaking any laws. The main theme of the argument being that taking off your pants is usually one of the nicest times of your day, and you should be able to do that when you feel the urge.

Despite their obvious differences in opinion, Jim and Shamus were able to see that there was a fair amount of common ground. The two shook hands and agreed that they would have to work together and join forces. And it was shortly thereafter (exactly 7 years, 3 months, and 16 days, to the day) that We Hate Pants the organization was formed.

If you've ever used a Video Cassette Recorder (VCR), you'll know what I mean when I say "fast forward to today". Today, We Hate Pants is the aggregate of these two great forces from the East Coast and the West Coast. Every day, people all over the globe are joining the cause. And every day, people all over the globe are taking off their pants. And that often makes us grin like idiots.

This concludes the Beautiful Legend of How this Site Started. We hope you enjoyed yourself or somebody near you. For more information, read the many articles on this site, many of them written by original We Hate Pants founding members. To this day, Jim Longwood and Shamus Pumpwell contribute regularly to the site, and contribute constantly, for months on end, to the cause. The organization's logo, which you can see here on our site and on the various cars and flying machines owned by the organization, is indeed the tattoo that Jim saw on Shamus' arm that fateful day way back in '96.

Thank you and good day,

The WeHatePants.com Team

Retrieved from "http://wehatepants.com/index.php/The_Beautiful_Legend_of_How_This_Site_Started"

This page was last modified 15:12, 29 January 2007.
Copyright © 2007 - WeHatePants.com

Breaking Pantsless News

 [+] upload your pantsless news now

No Pants Day '09
Buy No Pants Day
  t-shirts, more

Lose Your Pants Fast
Pantsless Partying
Dance Move Central
How to Do Things
Pantsless History
Share With Us
Upcoming Events
About Us
Buy t-shirts, more

No Pants Day 2009 t-shirts now for sale. Make that special someone want to be on you.

This page
Printable version
(bathroom reading)