How To Apply For a Job With Us
Qualified.
Not qualified.
People once told us, "the best way to get a job you want is to be aggressive and persistent..." Not at this place, baby. We should tell you now: it's almost impossible to get a job with us. But why not give a shot anyways, you go-getter, you?
Here are some things that might help you to land a sweet, cushy corner office at our headquarters:
- You were on the original A-Team
- You have been to over 100 pantsless parties and can prove it
- You can eat your own head
- You know Batman on a personal level
- You have woken up, consistently, every day, throughout your life
- Do you have any gum?
- You are NOT from the future
- You can explain the plot of '12 Monkeys' to us
- You can explain the plot of 'Charlotte's Web'* to us
Think you got what it takes, kid? Send us your resume, a funny story or a bag of money, your pants, and an autographed copy of Pride and Prejudice** by Jane Austen to us.
* the movie, not the book
** the book, not the movie
