Antipantsology 202
Antipantsology 101: A Brief History of the Field | Antipantsology 102: Leading Figures | Antipantsology 201: Early Studies, Experimentation and General Tinkering
[edit] Recent Studies, Experimentation and General Tinkering
Since 1957, increased funding and parallel advancement in the fields of physics, physiology, immunology, botany, theology, and archeology have spurred more experimentation in the field. Dr. Jeremiah Fupa, a leading figure in the field began conducting phychological experiments in the early 70s, first on cats, then on circus folk, and then on humans, to determine the effects of wearing pants. The results were immediately astounding. He found that cats were much more attracted to other cats who had no pants on. Cats without pants were typically the life of the party and everybody wanted to be near them or with them. Some cats even started to try to shed their pants off, clearly acknowledging the superiority of the other cats who had no pants on. The results were almost identical with circus freakshows and humans. This set of experiments lead to the first set of scientific laws in the field:
- Fupa's First Law of Pantslessness: Pants make you less sexy
- Fupa's Second Law of Pantslessness: Even if you don't care about looking sexy, they make you less attractive as a whole
At the time, these findings were breakthroughs that set the scientific world spinning. Various hippies, rebels, and dissidents around the United States began to incorporate the burning of their pants into their protesting routines. However, they still remained a non-majority.
Over time, other important figures have evolved in the world of Antipantsology. A young man by the name of Axl Rose studied under the legendary Dr. Fupa, and some say that he was even more gifted in the science than his mentor. But instead of remaining in the field of research, Mr. Rose chose instead to use his knowledge for personal gain. His work in Antipantsology helped him find the shortcut to fortune and fame in no time, and he took the world by storm. By the late 80s, Mr. Rose and his band, Guns n Roses, were selling out large venues all over the world and were international icons.
Sources say that this quick rise to glory and total maximum sweetness went to his head. Nobody knows the real reason, but perhaps in feeling guilt over his misuse of Antipantsology secrets, he started to act erratically, and even started wearing pants again. Since 1993, he had a steady decline of press appearances, and has all but vanished. Antipantsology experts maintain that his recent fall from grace and declined popularity amongst fans is no surprise and he has started wearing pants more often. Unfortunately for Mr. Rose, his story has become the basis for a recent ammendment to Benjamin Franklin's original theory that awesomeness increases exponentially with pantslessness. The amendment addresses the fact that sometimes, the person not wearing pants becomes so awesome, so fast, that he blacks out or goes crazy.
- The Rose Addendum: The increase in awesomeness as a result of taking off your pants can sometimes make you black out or go crazy
Antipantsology 101: A Brief History of the Field | Antipantsology 102: Leading Figures | Antipantsology 201: Early Studies, Experimentation and General Tinkering
