A post dedicated to fighting the staggeringly tragic war against pants.

Antipantsology 201

Antipantsology 101: A Brief History of the Field | Antipantsology 102: Leading Figures | Antipantsology 202: Recent Studies, Experimentation and General Tinkering

[edit] Early Studies, Experimentation and General Tinkering

Early experiments in pantslessness during the Enlightenment were quite crude. Scientists suspect that the following video was recorded circa 1813, and shows a man actually attempting detonate his pants in order to get them off quickly. Analysis of the video leads Antipantsology experts to believe that people who start taking their pants off become increasingly resistant to wearing them. It is suspected that the man depicted in the video had become so adverse to wearing pants, he was trying anything to get them off.

Among many other experiments, Benjamin Franklin documented several procedures for removing pants, and also conducted Antipantsology research of his own. He was known for having pantsless dinner parties, and so it’s no surprise that he was well-respected and popular in his time. Most noteable of Franklin’s work was the mathematical theorem he produced, proving that general awesomeness increases exponentially with respect to pantslessness. A lot of Antipantsology work has been based off of this theory, and hence, it should be memorized immediately. Following his first theory, Franklin also proposed that, as pantslessness approaches infinity, the person not wearing pants approaches a state known as Total Maximum Awesomeness. However, it was not until later that Antipantsologists discovered the effects of reaching such a state. Again, pantslessness was not sanctioned in Benjamin Franklin’s day, and so he mostly kept it a secret, except for at his sweet dinner parties and pantsless galas. Still, the man was a stud – the ladies loved him, and other dudes wanted to be just like him.

Franklin's Theory of Pantslessness
Franklin's Theory of Pantslessness
Franklin's Accompanying Theory of Total Maximum Awesomeness
Franklin's Accompanying Theory of Total Maximum Awesomeness

Antipantsology 101: A Brief History of the Field | Antipantsology 102: Leading Figures | Antipantsology 202: Recent Studies, Experimentation and General Tinkering

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