A post dedicated to fighting the staggeringly tragic war against pants.

Antipantsology 101

Antipantsology 102: Leading Figures | Antipantsology 201: Early Studies, Experimentation and General Tinkering | Antipantsology 202: Recent Studies, Experimentation and General Tinkering | Great Moments in Pantsless History


[edit] A Brief History of the Field

Archeologists have discovered proof as far back as 14,000 BC that man has always been discontent with pants. Ancient cave drawings depict men and women celebrating in great triumph after having gotten rid of their pants. Some of the mightiest, well-preserved Egyptian pharaohs have been unearthed, only to see that they have opted for some kind of loincloth over pants. In fact, very few men and women of the Ancient Greek and Ancient Roman empires ever wore pants. It was a golden era of peace, progress, and pantslessness. Look it up.

An early cave painting depicting non-pants-wearers celebrating with the "raise the roof" dance move
An early cave painting depicting non-pants-wearers celebrating with the "raise the roof" dance move
Another painting depicting one of the earliest recorded pantsless dance parties
Another painting depicting one of the earliest recorded pantsless dance parties
A recently discovered cave drawing outside of Bahrain, showing a possible side effect of not wearing pants
A recently discovered cave drawing outside of Bahrain, showing a possible side effect of not wearing pants


With sophisticated gadgetry, Antipantsologists are able to trace the resurgence of pants back to the Dark Ages. Many of those in the field are attempting to find evidence that the wearing of pants was the actual reason why the Dark Ages were such a time of regression and despair, with some surprising discoveries that are still under investigation. It was around this point in time that scientists believe the study of Antipantsology first surfaced. Alchemists, shamans, and healers around the world, starting in the early 1200s, began performing and recording many experiments involving pants. Some experimented with ways to get pants off quickly. Some experimented with ways to detonate pants. Some did psychological experiments on the people wearing them. The frightening results, that the world simply wasn't ready to hear, were that pants lead to discomfort, discontent, and non-congenital awkwardness. Because so many at the time were under some kind of tyrannical totalitarian rule, many were afraid to bring this shocking discovery to the public eye out of fear. In some cases, secrets leaked out and many of the worlds first, brilliant Antipantsologists were stoned (not the way they wanted to be) or tarred and feathered. As a result, people who agreed with these fascinating discoveries were forced to break off from mainstream society and form small cults or traveling circuses. The Druids and the Celts refused to wear pants, instead opting to hide out in the woods and party, and then decided to move to Ireland – an area of the world that quickly thereafter developed into a fun and sexy hotspot. Samurai dismissed pants entirely, going instead for a robe-like garment that said "I'm not wearing pants, and I'll stab you in the teeth if you have a problem with that."

A greek guy, enjoying a game of ultimate with no pants on
A greek guy, enjoying a game of ultimate with no pants on

As the Middle Ages gave way to the Modern Age, Antipantsologists continued to live in the shadows, gathering more information and trying to stay out of the limelight. Before the late 1900s, pantslessness was only prevalent in small pockets of civilization around the world that were more advanced, such as Fiji. In the 1960s and 1970s, North America and Europe started thinking more liberally. Large groups of people would gather and shed their pants in a glorious act of personal freedom. This opened the world's eyes just a little bit, and now, as the world heads into the 21st century, society seems to be heading down a path of tolerance. More and more people are taking off their pants and celebrating life and all it has to offer. More and more educational institutions around the world are openly offering classes in Antipantsology. More public figures and international role models are advocating for choice when it comes to pants.

Modern day Antipantsology research has taught us many valuable lessons. Perhaps the most noteable is the graph below, seen all over subway stations and Subway restaurants all over the world. With enough lobbying, it will soon find its way on to the pages of textbooks in schools all around Russia. Dr. Jeremiah Fupa, a leading figure in the field, and some colleagues spent years putting together historical records and first-hand accounts. Research from early Antipantsologists compiled together with state of the art research shows the following trend that should convince even the biggest skeptics:

Image:Pantslessgraph.jpg


In 1988, Arnold Schwarzenegger told Playboy Magazine: "I hate pants. This is something I have inherited from my father." No doubt that Arnold and his father both had read scientific journals that warned of the dangers of wearing pants. And now Arnold has become an international figure, first in movies and then in politics. With more people on board, and with voices like that of Arnold, Guns n Roses, and other important figures, it seems that the world is slowly opening back up to the concept of pantslessness and becoming more human again. For the good people of the world who don't want to wear pants, there is now a voice. And the future is looking bright.

Antipantsology 102: Leading Figures | Antipantsology 201: Early Studies, Experimentation and General Tinkering | Antipantsology 202: Recent Studies, Experimentation and General Tinkering

Retrieved from "http://wehatepants.com/index.php/Antipantsology_101"

This page was last modified 16:32, 16 June 2007.
Copyright © 2007 - WeHatePants.com

Breaking Pantsless News

 [+] upload your pantsless news now





No Pants Day '09
Buy No Pants Day
  t-shirts, more

Lose Your Pants Fast
Pantsless Partying
Antipantsology
Dance Move Central
How to Do Things
Pantsless History
Share With Us
Upcoming Events
About Us
Buy t-shirts, more


No Pants Day 2009 t-shirts now for sale. Make that special someone want to be on you.

This page
Printable version
(bathroom reading)